Airport Agent Man
A Parody of “Secret Agent Man”
New Lyrics by Steve Bryant

There’s a man who couldn’t act much stranger,
He gropes your crotch to keep you out of danger.
With every move he makes, your liberty he takes.
The odds are he’ll do just the same tomorrow.

Airport Agent man, Airport Agent man,
They’ve given him permission, to fondle all your junk.

No matter where you fly around the globe,
You could be subject to an anal probe.
Be careful what you say, he’ll haul your ass away.
The odds are he’ll do just the same tomorrow.

Airport Agent man, Airport Agent man,
They’ve given him permission, to fondle all your junk.

He’ll confiscate your mouthwash and your water.
Then terrorize you little son and daughter.
Don’t let the wrong word slip, ‘cause he might make you strip.
The odds are he’ll do just the same tomorrow.

Airport Agent man, Airport Agent man,
They’ve given him permission, to fondle all your junk.