We Need Some Cash - 2010
A Parody of “Monster Mash”
New lyrics and performance by Steve Bryant

I was looking at my 401K one night.
When my eyes beheld as eerie sight.
My retirement fund had just gone away.
Now there’s only one thing left to say.

He needs some cash.
I need some folding cash.
Some folding cash,
My portfolio’s trash.
He needs some cash,
It was gone in a flash.
Some folding cash.
I need some folding cash.

When I asked for a mortgage, I heard a moan.
The bank didn’t have any money to loan.
They were crying, guess I hit a nerve.
The banker blamed it on the Federal Reserve.

They need some cash.
They need some folding cash.
Some folding cash,
Their portfolio’s trash.
They need some cash,
It was gone in a flash.
Some folding cash.
They need some folding cash.

Wall Street executives were having fun,
While many investors thought of eating the gun.
Jim Cramer told us everything’s done,
Said our bad times have just begun.

The market went down, like a rising starlet,
It had hemorrhaged, it was bleeding scarlet.
Then I heard an old President say,
“Just ignore it, it’ll go away.”

We need some cash.
We need some folding cash.
Some folding cash,
Our portfolio’s trash.
We need some cash,
It was gone in a flash.
Some folding cash.
We need some folding cash.

From foreclosed houses, I heard voices scream.
So far underwater it was like a bad dream.
Taxpayers were cursing and shaking their fist.
Congress stuck in the knife and they were starting to twist.

They need some cash.
They need some folding cash.
Some folding cash,
Their portfolio’s trash.
They need some cash,
It was gone in a flash.
Some folding cash.
They need some folding cash.

Now nothing is cool, Congress owns everything.
And there’s no more cash to make the registers ring.
We’ll learn to live on government cheese.
We lost the cure to our disease.

We need some cash.
We need some folding cash.
Some folding cash,
Our portfolio’s trash.
We need some cash,
It was gone in a flash.
Some folding cash.
We need some folding cash.