Everything Blows
A Parody of “Anything Goes”
New Lyrics by Steve Bryant

In olden days we loved our neighbor,
Now he’d kill us with a saber, 
If he’s one of those. 
Everything blows

The economy used to be going strong,
Now we just say so long,
As the banks foreclose
Everything blows.

Now the terrorists,
They are really pissed,
Put us on their list,
And they still persist.
They all want us dead,
That is what I read,
In some Al Jazeera prose 

Athletes who once had ability,
Now only take a pill or three,
Muscle grows
Everything blows.

Politicians used to speak their mind,
Now get their pockets lined.
By friends and foes,
Everything blows.

The Congress is a bunch of losers
They’re just womanizing boozers
The life they chose.
Everything blows.

The TV News
Gives the same old views,
‘Bout the same old blues,
And the same who’s whose.
It’s caffeine we use,
To avoid the snooze,
Of their endless, boring shows.

Incompetence we’d never tolerate,
Washington thinks it’s great,
The White House knows
Everything blows.